whAtever.
just feel like bloggin.
my mood is in goin up n down. stoopid.
my mind just keep wonder off..
one min wanna do this,next min wanna do tht.
n ha..i ended up doin nthin..just starin at the msn window lookin across at hubby's room wall.
been wantin to laugh at myself the whole damn day todae.
been wantin to cry till my eyes drop...with no reason to cry.
been wantin to yell n scream at the top of my voice..
been havin tht terrible urge to get a pack of cig n have a puff.
been havin tht wild cravin to drink tht liquor in my fridge. n tht belong to hubby.
sheesh. my nutcase just gettin loose alrite. damn.

todae fmgt paper was ha. nonsense. it seem so hard to rephrase n explain wht i wanna say into written words. at the end i just keep repeatin tht bloody sentence over n over again but my nutcase was tryin to said sumtin else. sheesh wht with me man?
i thought i already constraint myself n kept tellin myself time to get serious already but those happy times just seem like it still in the air. bleh.
i calculated the lowest possible mark i get for fmgt would be a 50. ha. congrats me for such a lousy marks. been muggin at it for 2 daes n nights n 50 was the best i can get. damn.

my left eye been twitchin n one picture keep reflectin in my head. is bad. tryin nt to think abt it. sheesh me for me for bein so negative. nthin gonna happen alrite. ughhhhhhh.

i wanna communicate with my inner soul n ask her wht she reali wan me to do nw. she makin me crazy. or am i havin a hard time copin up the stress? can anyone ans it for me den? when u doesnt seem to noe wht wrong n right anymore n wht u wanna do nw. damn.

right. blaw on mon. lucks be with me man. im havin bad luck for the dae. perhaps i shld start shiftin my furniture in da room again. bleh.

utterly disappointin n upset with my pay. last mth was worse but it still little. damn. is it me the one tht count wrongly or they calculate wrongly? whtever.

trip to adelaide will be postpone. all thanks to the one who arrange the schedule n put me off for so many days when i request to work. fuck!!!

sorry to make u go thru this unbearable times with me. u been gd boy i noe. i love u. muacks. *hugs*